Grant Upon Me This One Mercy
by LauraRoslinForever
Summary: "It never ceased to amaze Robin how often it's the smallest touch of fate that brings about the greatest changes in one's life... Instead of being overjoyed that the woman he once loved was alive again, all he felt now was the means by which his life, the one that he had so dearly cherished, was about to end." After the finale 3x22 Outlaw Queen


**A/N: I took prompts the other day and the majority was Marian angst. This is the beginning story where a few of those prompts will be answered in the chapters to come. First, I had to see if I could even write around this angst and now that I know I can here we go. **

**This will be from Robin's POV and it will get very angsty, but keep in mind "pixie dust never lies."**

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Grant Upon Me This One Mercy

It never ceased to amaze Robin how often it's the smallest touch of fate that brings about the greatest changes in one's life. As much as it surprises him, it also speaks to the magical quality of this existence that he so repelled against. As insignificant as these moments may seem for some, they now held the power to destroy and absolve, to reveal the consequences of actions which hadn't previously considered.

In a world where it's apparently possible to change the very fabric of time, it humbled his soul to be conquered by something as small and inconsequential as a tear. One precious drop was the magic that blasted his purpose and changed his life forever. As that tear spilled over her lashes and slid down her cheek, his heart was forever and always Regina's. Free to be hers again, and with that their souls joined, and their lives moved towards a totally different but extraordinary trajectory.

She's lying here beside him now, and he keeps watch as she sleeps. He's still not wholly convinced that this is real and fear that if he were close his eyes he'll awaken to find it is only a dream – one he's had many times over the last couple weeks, but never imagined that it would be.

Reassured by the feeling of full warmth filling his chest, he is still in awe. The sensation hasn't abated in hours; not since that moment downstairs when she opened the door and he bared his soul to her, and the feeling swells again as he watches her slumber. The slow, steady rise and fall of her chest, the warmth of her skin against his, is proof enough that this is indeed far from any farce.

She tosses and mumbles, rolling onto her side and reaching for him. Even in sleep, she hungers for their connection, as he does. Her arm drapes over his chest and she settles back into sleep, tucked closely against his side. Robin breaths her in deeply; he's surrounded by her subtle scent and gently slip his arm around her, holding her close and safe. She smiles in her slumber and he is enchanted.

He marvels at her, his heart beating a little faster as he contemplated the woman lying in the bed next to him. Her usually neat, well-refined hair is tangled and tossed carelessly across the pillow. In her undress, she's strikingly modest in statue and almost delicate in appearance, but he's not fooled. Even though there is an endearing vulnerability about her that softens her fortitude, she is a pillar of strength and much stronger than he could ever be.

Her power is her soul and her desire. She is bold, audacious and fearless, and again he is humbled when he thinks that she would have let this, let them go. She would have remained his friend and ally, as he moved on in honor with another. They both knew that she had the strength and resilience, having made that very sacrifice another time and place with her son… and survived. What cut to the very core of his being was the realization that Regina had made this sacrifice because she loved Henry and thought that a life -where he had no memory of her- with Emma was what would make him happy and save him.

Robin doesn't have that sort of fortitude. It would have destroyed him, causing him to lose hope if she ever turned to another. Had it been her, and her first love Daniel returned he didn't know if he'd be able to take it. His sense of self-preservation and his son would overtake his weakness and he'd move on, but in the end, leaving in the wake of her would be impossible. Robin would gladly die for her, fight to the death for her, but has learned that she is his strength and he loves her with every part of his being. He always has and knows he always will.

Closing his eyes, he trembles to think how easily he could have missed this moment, which their lives could have taken off onto a completely different path. His mind boggles at the capricious nature of fate and thought back to that moment two weeks ago.

Marian was alive.

In that moment, he knew true fear. After everything that they'd been through in the last year and more significantly the previous four days – finding Regina again, being with her, her connection with Roland, their confrontation with Zelena, the pixie dust, his tattoo, coming together – it was only now that he felt his life was truly at risk.

Alive. That one word said _so_ much. It reflected an intricacy of meanings. A thousand thoughts and feelings tumbled unsteadily through his mind at the consequence –confusion, fear and sadness, and then joy she was not dead, only to circle back again.

Firstly, and most significantly, it was a sign of respect for the mother of his child. She was a woman 'out of time' and as much as it pained him that his actions in that moment hurt Regina, he could not escape the wonder that he felt within him upon seeing his wife's return.

He was a father and in his own right, master of his own destiny, but with that also meant the end of so many other dear and precious things – most of which he could not honestly in that moment take that step to one side or the other. He was a man torn. His heart lay on one side, while his honor the other.

However, his mercy lay at the feet of his queen.

From this moment on nothing would be the same. It was pivotal and almost impossible to process.

Marian was back, but what was going to happen now? His sights –nay, his future lay with Regina. What would happen now? It never _ever_ occurred to him that his mourned past would turn up almost upon their hallowed doorstep. All of a sudden, he felt truly lost. Adrift. His anchor and mainstay were dissipating under him -like the purple smoke he found around him- and he didn't know what to do.

He glanced around the diner.

Regina.

His heart was gone and so was she.

With that thought his eyes misted with tears.

Instead of being overjoyed that the woman he once loved was alive again, all he felt now was the means by which his life, the one that he had so dearly cherished, was about to end. He could barely breathe and had an awful feeling that he might throw up or faint. Gripping the sides of the booth, he forced himself to take deep steadying breaths and once his vision cleared, he again turned to look at Marian. He stuttered an apology, and with a quick acknowledgement from Henry to watch over Roland, he told Marian he'd return soon. He'd explain it all soon.

In his mourning he honored his past.

He must now honor his future.

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**Comments? Thoughts? Ps: I don't own them.**


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